Taking One For The Team

A little over three and a half years ago, I was up around 3 am changing my sweet little Nathan's diaper in my dimly lit bedroom. I was in the sweet sleep-deprived fog of a new mommy and as I changed my new little guy, I didn't get the diaper in place fast enough. Well, you might think I got a little wet, no, it was the other. The next thing I know some bright yellow poo was rocketing toward me. Instinctively, I jumped out of the way, but as the poo shot past me onto the carpet and all over my bed, I was immediately regretting that instinct. As I woke my sleeping husband to help me change the sheets and clean up the mess, I explained to him exactly what had happened. Even in his sleepy state, he was able to discern that had I not jumped out of the way, I could just be changing a pair of pajamas rather than an entire bed. "Aww Nic, why couldn't you take one for the team?", my husband teased. He was kidding and anyone who knows my husband, knows he was not at all upset about helping out in the middle of the night. It has always been one of my favorite memories of us in new parenthood, because he made me laugh in a moment that could have easily led to an argument. (I was no rookie diaper changer either, having taken care of babies in the NICU for three years, but at 3 am, in the sleepy fog only a new parent can appreciate, my diaper changing expertise went out the window.)
Now, over 3 1/2 years later, I find myself again in a situation where I need to "take one for the team". For the last six months, I have worked in a NICU here part time while my kids have been in very expensive part time daycare. Each week we write a check to pay for said daycare and each week our debt doesn't decrease. It is very difficult to work extra shifts without extra childcare so that doesn't help matters. Working extra shifts takes me away from my family more than I'd like and causes more stress and grumpiness than my family deserves from me.
Last week our washing machine broke and had to be replaced. Our lawn mower broke and needs to be repaired. We have discovered our deck needs some serious maintenance. We have quickly discovered our house, like most houses, is a money pit. All of these things have brought to our attention, the fact that we are walking a very thin line between living paycheck to paycheck and digging a hole for ourselves. One hiccup and we could be buried in that hole. Something has to give.
Walking a financial line, makes fun things stressful. We just bought our tickets to return to Texas and visit our families and friends. By the time we get there in August, it will have been over a year since we've visited. Too long and we feel guilty about that, but it has just not fit into our budget. It still doesn't, but we realized that if we don't change something, it never will. Instead of being excited about our trip, we have been stressed and frustrated because we know it is just going to keep us from paying down debt we already have.
Last Monday, I scrolled down through Quicken feeling the usual headache come on. Our balance was not getting better. So I played around with it and removed the childcare expense leaving my paychecks in place. VOILA! In about 6 months, things were back on track and we could afford our trip. So we talked and talked and talked and we made a decision. It really is a no brainer. I can work every Friday and Saturday nights and we eliminate the daycare need. Problem solved. So why didn't we just do that six months ago? It wasn't an option then. I had to go through a six week orientation including dayshifts and to do that, daycare was required. We found a good one and we've been very happy with everyone there. Because the kids have been happy and it has seemed to work the last six months, we didn't expect to need to change things, but reality tells us we need to make this change.
This is where "taking one for the team" comes in. Already, I sacrifice sleep by working nights. It just comes with the territory. I also sacrifice the same amount of time away from my family. I'm not increasing the number of hours I work, just putting them on the weekend. So why does it feel so hard to let go of that time? Our society seems to live for the weekend and when I get caught up in that mentality, I get really sad about having to "give up" that time with my family. But honestly, I already am giving up time. This is just a smarter way to do it.
All parents make sacrifices in some way. We all take a lot for the team. And it is all worth it.
Besides the selfish part of me, that wants weekends off to relax with my family, I also don't want my children to look back at their childhood and remember weekends without mommy. My parents both worked and it never occurred to me that they weren't available. My dad worked 5 and a half days a week and 5 of those days were over 12 hours. In my memory, he was always home. Just goes to show, kids view things very differently, than adults.
Yesterday, I picked up some books at the library and one of them is 700 Sundays by Billy Crystal. It is about his family and childhood. So far, it is a great read. His family is very fascinating. The main part of the book focuses on his time with his dad, who died when Billy was 15. He worked two jobs and most of their quality time as Billy remembers it, was on Sundays. He counted the number of Sundays he had with his dad and it was 700. That puts a LOT into perspective for me. I need to focus on all of the time I DO have with my family, not on the time I am at work.
I am very blessed to have this "problem".
So, I'm not looking for sympathy. In fact, quite the opposite. I'd like to have a big cheering section from my friends and family. I know sometimes I'll be down about having to "miss" that special weekend time and I will need support in those moments. I happen to be married to my biggest cheerleader so I have no doubt, the support will be there.
In this situation, I'm more than happy to "take one for the team". I love my team more than anything in the world and I'd do anything to support this team. We'll need outside support in the form of thoughts and prayer from others as we begin this new adventure and I have no doubt, we'll get more than enough.
So, here's to teamwork. Gooooooooooooo, Team Tse!