T-I-M-E

Kids Playing Outside from tsechief on Vimeo.

A page on my calendar reads that this is how children spell love. I need that reminder tattooed some place.

I'm struggling with finding a balance right now. There is not enough time to do what I have to do and what I want to do and I'm finding myself feeling resentful of what I have to do. Completely unfair to the little ones who fall into the category of have to as well as want to. I want to play with them and enjoy them and watch them every time they ask me to. I also want a magic fairy to do the laundry, the cooking, the organizing...

Daddy was home for a week. It wasn't enough. We miss him. I miss him. When he is home, it is all about the kids. We stay up late so that we don't take away time from the kids, but it is hard trying to squeeze in couple time with so many other things pulling at us, including sleep.

Because I can't pray for more time, I am trying to pray for a change of heart. A friend searching for answers to "easy" and "healthy" meals for her family after going through what it sounds like we go through each evening, came across this verse:
Proverbs 17:1 Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.
I know this was written way before microwaves, but it still applies.

We are enjoying beautiful weather and trying to get outside as much as possible. Part of the reason for my struggle for balance is that I just want to be out there with them. The kids got new bikes last week. Nathan had outgrown his old one and we decided it was time to let him get one that fit him better. He has been out riding with our 8 year old neighbor any time it has been warm enough and it has never bothered him that this 8 year old boy can ride without training wheels. Well, the first day he rode his new bike (Wednesday) with training wheels, he saw our newly turned 5 year old neighbor ride her bike without training wheels. The next day his were off and he just started riding. (I was outside while Daddy took them off and went in to make lunch as I had been saying I would for an hour, and within minutes I was back outside with the camera because he came in breathless, "Mommy! I can ride my bike now!"--Lunch had to wait again. Stupid fairy, where the heck are you?) I was actually voting for giving him a little more time with the new bike because it has hand brakes and he kept forgetting to use them because his old bike has pedal brakes, but he insisted and he's mastered it at this point.

So here are some of those moments we got to be outside enjoying each other. I really need to do a better job of doing that this week even though we're on our own again. I pray that I can stop thinking of all of my "have tos" and just give my kids what they want...T I M E.