Taking A Break

A piece from the PreK art show. Hannah's
class worked on this together.


Hannah's class made pumpkins like Miro's



Sarah wanted to learn about the Belgian Congo
too.



Sarah shoe shopping. She spends much of her
day trying on shoes.

Our patient princess got pushed aside by the

big kids often, but was willing to wait for her

love of candy.

Our little Jedi enjoyed playing Star Wars more

than trick or treating (2 friends went as Darth

Moll)

Sarah was happy with her first candy

of the night...as soon as it ran out she

was less content.

Our Jedi with his friends.

Learning about the Belgian Congo (they liked

switching the language from French to Dutch

to English).

Ready to hike to the park after a visit to the

African Museum.

Hannah's painting of the Belgian coast in sand.

Another painting by Hannah (the original is

to the left)

Nathan earned his Bobcat badge

Finally things are slowing down. The kids' fall break is next week and we have nothing planned. Literally. Instead of frantically packing and stressing about a taking a trip we can not afford, we are staying home and it feels okay. There is this somewhat surreal life as an expat that I haven't fully written about here because pretty much everyone reading this blog is not an expat and I am quite aware of how spoiled and bratty it sounds to complain about this pressure to see all of Europe while we're living here and live this glamorous life that "everyone else" has and expects us to have. Since we've arrived we've felt the pressure (we've put it on ourselves really) and we've reacted differently at different times throughout our 18 months of living here. Reality hit some time this summer and together we've made a commitment to live a pressure free existence. There are some wonderful friends inspiring us in this and they know who they are. We are holding ourselves accountable for our financial choices to give our kids the actual example rather than just the words. It isn't easy, but reality does feel better than surreal.

The hardest part for me has been to just be real about why we're not traveling much and why we're carefully considering every financial decision. It really makes most people very uncomfortable and it isn't easy to put our lives out there to the inevitable silence and possibly judgement of others. But being real is part of that accountability and being real might help someone else. This week another friend and I talked all about pretense and how damaging it can be in our relationship with God. Her story is completely different than mine, but what we both discovered is that by presenting the real us to others, ourselves and most importantly to God is how we live the truth. God knows the real us even if we hide it from ourselves and others. Pretending helps no one. That same friend said something to me that I was so happy to have articulated. There is so much fear in the world right now. Fear about war, the environment, the economy, the future... This has been weighing on my mind not because I am completely consumed by fear, but because it feels like a contagious illness and I can feel symptoms coming on. My friend said, "Fear, shame, guilt. These are not from God". Suddenly I had this epiphany. Hope is from God. Fear, shame and guilt are so powerful, but they are not from God so they can not be more powerful than hope. Not hope in a person, an administration, a government, a currency, but hope in the truth.

I have hope in the truth and hope in God and give Him the fear, the shame and the guilt because He can handle those things and I can't. Unfortunately, it isn't a one time hand off. I do have to give over the new fear, shame and guilt that come each time it comes. But that is how the hope works. He can take it. All of it. I don't have to hold on to any of it and that is the truth.

(The pictures show what we're taking a break from...Cub Scout Pack Meeting, Hannah's PreK Art Show, Cub Scout Go See It Trip to the African Museum and Trick or Treating in Waterloo on top of the usual ballet, intramurals, soccer and swimming this week. We're tired. We need a break and we are so looking forward to this weekend of nothing and an extra hour. Daddy is in Germany today, will be in Amsterdam part of next week and Germany again the following week. We've discovered that he is still traveling just in a car rather than a plane.)