Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Another Summer Day...
(Sigh) This song really fits my mood tonight. Blogs are good for keeping up with friends and family. VOIP and Skype are good. Web cams are good. But sometimes, none of that is good enough. I often find that when I am homesick, it isn't for a "home" (since we don't have one), but for the people and for the memories that aren't being made with them. I'm homesick for the perception of normal that I have when I think of childhood: Grandparents attending school plays and dance recitals; overnights with grandparents and cousins; trips to the zoo, parks and the pool with grandparents...
All of that seems so normal, but I realize there are all variations of normal and my kids know this one. Last year when I was taking a babysitter home, I asked her about graduation that was coming up that weekend. No one other than her immediate family was going to be there. To her it was normal. I don't know how common that is for graduates of International schools, but to me it just seems so sad.
I enjoy reading my friends' blogs because I love keeping up with all that is going on in their lives, but sometimes I just feel so sad that our kids and our parents are missing all of those moments. I am surrounded by people here who can relate. Some of them have been living far away from family for most, if not all, of their children's lives. I am often reminded by those more experienced that because we have such little time with our families, we will always be so appreciative of every second we do have. I am reminded by them that their children still know and love their grandparents just as much as they would if they lived down the street. "There's always e-mail and phone calls and web cams".
Sometimes it helps, but sometimes I just need to be sad. Tonight I'm thinking about my friend's blog full of pictures of her sweet little boys playing at their grandparents' house. I'm thinking that the last pictures I have of a similar sort were almost a year ago and that our December trip doesn't include a trip to both grandparents' houses. I'm thinking about my granddad in a nursing home, lonely for visits and about how he won't get a visit from three little people who I know could bring a smile to his face and the faces of lots of others living there too. I'm thinking about my cousin about to have her second baby girl and the fact that I haven't even met her first baby girl who will be 3 by the time I finally do meet her. I'm thinking about all of the summer gatherings at a pool in San Antonio where 3 cousins will be missing. I'm thinking of a 4th of July fish fry we've missed for way too many years.
And I'm sad.
Just sad tonight.
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Little Tse Feet
3 comments:
First off, I love that song too. One of my favorites.
Second, I am sad you are sad. I know how lucky I am to have family and friends closeby. Technology is great, but it is not perfect. But I am getting sad too now because my dad might be leaving to St. Croix for a job pretty soon here. It's a great opportunity; and it will be awesome to go down and visit him with James and Drew. But it breaks my heart to think about how much he will miss Andrew and vice versa. Poor Andrew won't know what's going on and why he isn't able to see Papa every week. :(
Sometimes, I really wish that I was like Samantha on Bewitched or had a Star Trek transporter device so we could be anywhere anytime. That way we could come visit you guys too!
Love you and miss you.
We love and miss you too!!!! I think about what you said to me once that even though we can almost count on our hands how many times we have spent together each time is so special!!!!! I still feel so close to you even though I didn't grow up around the corner. We can't wait for December to come!!!!! Sending you love to make you feel better!
Hi Nicci! I completely relate to your post and think you expressed your feelings really well. I hope things are looking a bit brighter now. I've been thinking of you guys and hope everything is well in Belgium. Say hi to the family from me. Hang in there, and know that you're thought of around the world :) Hopefully when you think about that you won't feel so lonely. (On the bright side, you can wake up on Saturday and decide which European country you want to go to for the day, which is pretty cool. But I know you won't find a Big Mouth Burger from Chili's there - so enjoy some frites and a good Belgian beer instead. Mmmm...miss that, and the chocolate croissants, and the great friends!) Hugs to you guys! - Kathy U. (now in Canada, finally!)
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