Long Days, Short Years

Hannah dressed herself for church. Who are we to

challenge what could be on the runways in Paris some

day? (This child has her own ideas about what is

en vogue).

Two princesses took time out of their princess

schedules to help make some cookies.

Big sister helping the little one enjoy some cookie

dough.

Another princess insisted on having her photo

taken while jumping.

Is this something our accident prone boy should

be doing?

My sister-in-law shared a quote on facebook that has been going over and over in my head. On raising children:"The days are long, but the years are short. Cherish every moment".

This week, the days are feeling so long that I can't see past them. I would not describe myself as "cherishing" any moment some days, much less every moment. I don't know how I can feel that I am ready for the summer to be over and not ready for it to end at the same time. But I do. Some moments. Others are better. There are good moments and I guess I should be like most people and only blog about those, but as most people who read this have probably realized, this blog began as my journal and my therapy and I have tried writing it down elsewhere and only posting about sunshine and lollipops here...doesn't work for me. (That is what today's pictures are for...) Sometimes I sit down and write a "therapeutic" post and delete it after going to the most of the other blogs I read and seeing happy, smiling families with only good news to report. That is what people want to read about anyway, right? I like to read the good news and know that my friends and family are having good days, but I am so glad that I can actually talk to people as well as read blogs because otherwise I might think that we were the only ones having trouble with the "cherish every moment" part.

This week has been hard. I am not feeling great. Joe and I have been snapping at each other a lot. Each of us dealing with our own frustrations from long days with very different "jobs". I can't speak for him, but I have these expectations of what the end of the day should be like and my expectations haven't lined up with reality lately. I have been very aware of the expression "the grass is always greener" as I have thought a lot about missing work, but have two friends struggling to find a way to make working outside the home fit with children and marriage and life. All I have to do is go back 2 1/2 years in the archives of this blog and read about those challenges of my own. I can remember wanting nothing more than to just have the time to be home with my kids. I perceived so much more time differently. Reality is, time can be my enemy.

By the end of the day I am just done. I want to take off my "Mom" badge and clock out. However, I also want to be there for the bed time routine rather than turn it all over to a perfectly willing dad. I wish I had a clone to come in for the 2nd shift.

Talking with other moms helps me know I'm not alone. I think most of us have these perceptions of what other moms do or go through and we think it couldn't possibly be anything like our lives. When Nathan's friend was dropped off for a sleepover this week, his mom found Hannah coloring quietly in the living room, Nathan reading on the couch, Sarah sleeping in her room and me baking banana muffins in the kitchen. She commented on how she didn't know how I did it with a reference to "Super Mom". Yeah right. Does "Super Mom" yell at her kids to clean up the toys strewn all across the living room? Does she get frustrated with a two and a half year old who is not even close to using a toilet? (Seriously, zero interest. Would seemingly wear a diaper to her wedding). Does "Super Mom" carry a whining temper tantrum throwing toddler up the stairs and put her into her bed with strict orders to be quiet and go to sleep now? Does "Super Mom" argue with "Super Dad" in front of the kids and storm away just before bed time? (Only to realize she has no where to storm to). I think not. She caught me in a good moment and this mom should know that I knew she was coming. Come over without the prep time...just drop by, it is plain to see that "Super Mom" does not live here.

The last thing I want to do is cause another mom to think less of herself or feel inferior. If most moms are like me, we are able to make ourselves feel inferior on a regular basis without any help from others. I don't think I'm a bad mom, but I'm not "Super" either. I'm just doing the best I can making it through the long days and wishing for the good moments to outnumber the bad ones.

In other news: Another Summer, Another Trip to the ER

Even with a few outings during the day yesterday, by the end of the day I was just really looking forward to not being home anymore. Daddy had planned some boy time playing tennis with Nathan after work. After a mini-mommy-meltdown, the entire family ended up on an outing that included buying bags of sand for the "new" sand box donated by our neighbors moving back to England and then a fivesome on the local tennis courts. We paid 13 Euros for about 20 minutes of fun. While running to pick up a ball our poor little guy slipped and fell against a brick wall cutting a gash on the top of his head. This kid has a ridiculously high pain tolerance. He was holding his head and saying "Ow, ow, ow!", but his reaction did not illicit an urgent response from the parents. Then we saw the blood. When I told him he was bleeding, his voice became slightly more concerned, "Am I bleeding seriously?" It took us several minutes to get the bleeding to stop so that we could see the wound. It wasn't very big, but deep and we had to take him to the ER (same one Sarah went to for her injury) so that it would heal properly. After the usual communication challenges, we saw a doctor, had his wound glued together and learned that he can't wash his hair for 1 week. (The cut is inside his hairline and so his hair has some interesting red highlights in the front now--fun and smelly). We ended up eating a late dinner at McD's and putting two very grumpy girls and one wiped out boy to bed last night.

Today we began another one of those "long days". Trying to find a balance between playing inside and playing outside. Trying to agree on games to play together, a movie to watch, books to read, pictures to color...Trying to keep the fights and arguments to a minimum and trying to "cherish" the moments that are good. That is how I have decided to interpret the quote anyway. Maybe I will "cherish" every moment some day, but that is what hindsight is for, right?