Disturbia

Naturally the day after I post about pets and loving them, our turtle decides to go on to the better place that turtles go on to.

Naturally he seemed perfectly "normal" all day long and he chose to leave us right at bed time when the child who has loved him and cared for him since the day he came to live with us, went to feed him.

Naturally the dad/turtle funeral coordinator was not in the country or even available for the SOS calls our son made immediately after his discovery. (He really wanted to talk to his dad).

Naturally the sisters were so upset by the big brother being so upset that all three children were sobbing uncontrollably during what is normally book, prayer and bed time and the girls had to go straight to bed without tooth brushing even.

Naturally this morning when Nathan asked to see "Dribble" one more time before we left for school, there was some very unnatural movement for a deceased turtle.

Wait, what?!?!?!

So this morning after more sobbing and comforting and more discussion about the natural passing of pets and how we still choose to have pets and love them even knowing that they will pass...All things considered, this morning went very well. We talked about how I would bury Dribble in the backyard during the day and we would say a prayer for him when they got home from school. There was acceptance. Then when I took the turtle from his resting place (in a plastic bag inside his little box in the garage) for the last look, there was a lot of wiggling. Disturbing to all involved and I quickly returned the box and mumbled something like "Ummmm...no sometimes that happens". Brilliant, right? I just kept thinking, Why did that turtle choose that moment t0 have some kind of weird death spasm? Was last night's discovery not disturbing enough?

So we went to school talking about anything except the turtle or the "death spasms" and I went on to Bible study after that.

Four hours later, with one child in school, another at a lunch play date and one more napping, I was out in the backyard digging a turtle sized hole. After completing this hole, I went to get the turtle. The "death spasms" certainly were more convincing this time and he was clearly looking at me. Disturbing.

After a momentary freak out, I removed the turtle from the plastic bag. (Last night I could not bring myself to seal the plastic bag. It just seemed wrong. I don't know why. I'm disturbed.)
He was sitting on the floor of the garage staring at me.

This afternoon was quite an emotional roller coaster for me. I debated (with myself because there was no one here to debate with) what to do. Should I call the turtle sitter I'd just canceled and have her come now? Should I keep the "revival" from the kids? Should I check into a mental hospital? I then spent entirely too much time googling turtle information and ended up feeling terribly guilty for not having enough turtle care knowledge prior and for not even considering taking this little guy to the vet. We're just not going to do that.

So after all of my worry and stress over how to break it to the kids. I got, "Oh, okay", from Hannah. I got "Yes!", from Nathan.

This turtle is not well. There is a reason we thought he'd gone on. Perhaps he was in a turtle coma? I don't know. The kids know he is sick and not eating and that there is nothing we can do for him. They are handling the information very well. I think I have been the most disturbed considering I dug the little guy's grave and went a little Kevorkian on him.

I spent the entire afternoon checking to see if his comatose state had returned, arranging for turtle hospice care while we're gone and praying for the right words to tell my kids.

Yeah, we're leaving on Friday. I have not packed one item. Tomorrow the turtle will have to be a little less maintenance and my focus will have to be laundry, packing, organizing.

I've shared the turtle's passing on facebook. I sent an e-mail to Nathan's teacher last night. I asked for prayers for Nathan at my Bible study this morning (not prayers for a revived turtle).
Now I have to undo everything I've done, but I'm pretty sure I won't have to undo it for long.
The "turtle sitter" is really just a friend with 3 kids and though she is still very willing to take our sick turtle in for what will most likely be his last days, I feel very uncomfortable with that. Disturbing.

I'm exhausted and would really like to think about something other than turtles or packing or sick kids and a sick husband (yeah, we've got that going on too this week). Tonight my prayer is that I can put all of this out of my mind and onto God's capable shoulders so that I can sleep well and start fresh tomorrow. And that tomorrow is much less disturbing.