Verbal Diarrhea

Hannah provided some much needed comic relief this evening.  This week the kids have gotten along unusually well.  My theory is they are appreciative of their breaks from each other during the day after two weeks of lots of togetherness.  However, this evening Nathan was unusually grumpy and whiny.  Just not like him.  Granted everyone is entitled to a bad day, but I just thought I ask if there was some reason for his mood.  There was.

When I first realized he was going to need new snow pants this year I grabbed a pair from the huge selection in the middle of the store.  In my defense, the boys, girls, toddlers, adults, everyone were all in one place.  The entire family was there and none of us noticed that the black pants I picked up for Nathan had something very unfortunate in common with the hot pink ones I picked up for his sister. 

I'm not sure if it was the first time they wore them that Daddy noticed the little bling bling on the leg of Hannah's hot pink pants, but I didn't notice them for a while.  When I finally did notice, it never occurred to me that the black ones would have the exact same bling. 

Fast forward to the week of break when we accidentally packed up Nathan's pants with our friends' stuff.  We stopped by to pick them up one evening and when they were brought to the car, I noticed the little bling, bling and the cute little polka dot lining on the inside.  Nice.

I laughed.  Mostly at myself, but I was also amazed that no one in our family had noticed.  When I mentioned it to my husband, I learned that I was wrong.  He had noticed and just decided not to bring it to our son's attention to keep from embarrassing him.  He figured we'd just get him another pair later.  One thing though.  He forgot to tell "us" so that "we" could get him another pair. 

So last night it snowed again.  If he wants to play football during recess he has to have snow pants and so he took his snow pants.  Honestly, I wasn't thinking about how fancy they were.  Apparently today, some little boy who could possibly be insecure with his manhood (ha ha) noticed that my son appears to be very secure in his manhood.  Actually, my son is just not the most observant son in the world and until today did not realize he was wearing snow pants with polka dot lining.  He was clearly embarrassed even to tell me, but he reluctantly told me about how his friends had all laughed at his pants for being "girly".  I told him I was sorry and that it was my fault I picked up the ones with "diamonds" on them by mistake.
He hadn't noticed the "diamonds" yet.

Interestingly enough, those snow pants were left behind at school today.  I can't blame him for not wanting to draw attention to them again.  We talked about how he could just say he brought his sister's pants by mistake if he really needed to say anything.  We also talked about how even when you're all grown up like a mom, you might be walking across the driveway to check the mail forget that there was a sheet of ice underneath the new snow, step right on it, slip and fall right on your bottom.  Just an example. 

No, I told him it was me.  We laughed.  He felt better.

Suddenly my failed attempt to buy him another pair today in my 2 1/2 hour grocery shopping extravaganza (shopping with Hannah is a bit time consuming), was a much bigger deal.  I mean it is January.  Of course all of the winter clothing is on clearance and has been replaced with bathing suits and shorts.  I was slightly annoyed at the time that I could only find one pair sized 8/10 (he is 8, but he is more on the 7/8 end), but at that moment I was really, really annoyed.  And feeling more than slightly guilty for buying the girly, sparkly, polka dot lined pants in the first place.  Curse you, people who put polka dot lining in snow pants!  Who cares what the lining looks like?!  It is on the inside!
We went to Target at 7 PM.  Mostly because we CAN, but also because my son should be able to play football at recess tomorrow without the added insecurity of the possibility of turning into a girl in mid-stride or whatever boys think might happen if their clothing is less than masculine.

Which brings me to the comic relief....

As we were driving, Nathan was telling us about the Scholastic book club order form he brought home today.  (Really?  Another one?)  He mentioned a book that he would like to order.  Suddenly Hannah was repulsed.
 "Ewwwwww disgusting!"
I looked around to see what could possibly be so unpleasant in the car or on the road.  "What?"
"Who would want to read about diarrhea of a wimpy kid?"

I almost peed my pants.

(And I'm aware that I probably have "verbal diarrhea" when I blog, but I can't stop.  I just sat down to type up what she said, but then I had to explain why Target at 7, then why new snow pants....one can see how this happens...anyway, I love these kids.  I'm so lucky to laugh so much).