On Friday Nathan had a play date after school so we 3 girls took a field trip. Literally. Hannah's teacher sent out directions to the spot in the forest where the Bluebells are blooming and we went to take a peek. Brilliant! So amazing and peaceful. Hannah enjoyed herself, but she wasn't as enthusiastic about a girls' trip as I'd thought she'd be. She missed having the boys there to share. As much as they fight, she seems so lost without her big brother. (Sarah technically was there, but she was napping in the car...I was deliberately trying to spend some one on one time with Hannah)
Hannah and I have had some rough times these last couple of weeks. There are so many reasons why. She is 3, she and I are a so much alike, her Daddy has been gone and is gone again, she isn't the oldest, she isn't the youngest, she is finding herself... A huge part of it, is that I see her as my "big girl". She is the big girl in our house, but she's really still so little. So little and just learning to do things for herself, just making it without a nap. My expectations have a lot to do with our battles. I am praying a lot about this and searching my heart for the answers to more peace between us.
My prayer for tonight:
Dear God,
Please give me the strength I need to be present and in tune with my children when I want to check out. Guide me when I run out of patience to look to You for more. Help me to remember that they don't need or expect perfection. Remind me then to ask for their forgiveness as well as Yours when I mess up. I ask that You allow my heart to be captured by them as it was the day they were born so that I remember the thrill and joy of having each of them in my life and not take them for granted allowing the frustrations get in the way.
I ask that you call on me for quiet time with You, Lord. Give me the time to renew and prepare myself each morning and at the end of each day so that I can be the mom You would have me be.
Remind me also that I must not expect perfection from them and to redirect and correct them gently when they mess up. Help me to remember that their mistakes will happen just as mine do and that I need to give them the grace you give me. Help me stay focused in the moments of chaos so that I feel the calmness You provide.
Remind me to take the extra time to really listen to what Hannah and Nathan are saying when they call my name. Remind me to play more and clean less, enjoy the moments.
Thank you for blessing me with so much and for the gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, and self control. Please keep me mindful of these gifts so that I might use them with a heart like Yours as I go through this week.
In Your Name I Pray.
3 comments:
Three is a tough age for mommys and daughters. Three was much much harder than two but I can promise you that four is so wonderful. Like you two, Caroline and I are way too much alike and for some reason it peaks at three (probably 16 too, but one step at a time). She is blessed to have you as a mommy.
What beautiful pictures. Really spectacular. Three is tough here too. I constantly remind myself of River being a baby only a few short years ago. And we have come so far with so much fun to go. I say a similar prayer too when he tells me "You're mean" or "I don't like you." One thing is for certain, you do an amazing job with all of your children. I am always impressed with you.
Beautiful prayer. Thank you.
First thing I thought when I saw those stunning pics was, "Those look like bluebonnets!!" I was comforted to see a little bit of Texas (or at least the look of TX) with you WAY over there.
Love you!
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