No More Mrs. Nice Guy

Today Nathan told me that he and his little friend, Joey, were discussing why it is that little girls are so much nicer than big girls (for the purposes of this discussion big girl = mommy). Big boys, it seems, are definitely nicer than little boys, who are always fighting. When I asked why it is that they think "big girls" are not nice, his answer was this:

"Well, you, I mean, they, always say 'NO!' and stuff like that".

I promise you this was a very carefully thought out and worded answer. The look on his face and the caution in his voice proved just how "not nice" he thinks I can be.

It just so happens that last week I borrowed a past video from the Beth Moore study I had missed and during the video she specifically mentioned saying "NO!" and that it isn't always a bad thing that our children don't have every need met instantly. Her rationale is that children learn to put others first when they have to wait to have a need met. The segment of this video really spoke to me. Saying "NO" as a mom has been, at times, harder than I ever imagined. I have mentioned before that there is a certain amount of guilt I feel when I have to say "no" to some event/play date/timing to one child because it just doesn't fit in with the schedules of a sibling. The example Beth used in her lesson was about a friend of hers who discovered her fourth child had Down's Syndrome. The friend was a peace with her child's diagnosis, but her worry was for her other 3 children whom she felt would have to make sacrifices in their lives because of their sibling. Beth told her friend that she felt her children would be very blessed because of their sibling. She told her about another family she knew. In that family an older sister has had the "responsibility" for years of getting her sister with Down's Syndrome onto the school bus and making sure that her sister is okay at school. Beth said that, yes, she does have an extra responsibility that other children don't have, but is that a bad thing? No. It is a blessing that that child has the opportunity to see that the world is not all about her. Beth went on to say she feels we are sheltering our children from the wrong things. Teaching them to give of themselves and care for others is not a bad thing, but a blessing.

I love that lesson. I might not have felt this way before watching that video, but I have to say Nathan and his friend Joey gave their moms quite a compliment today.

So I may not be "Mrs. Nice Guy", but I did win the award for "Mrs. Relaxed Runner" at the company's BBQ following the Brussels 20K this past Sunday. This award went to the woman with the slowest time in the group. To be fair, I was not the slowest woman, but the slowest registered under my own name, woman. Two wives waited until the last minute to run after some others had backed out and so their times were recorded under someone else's name. They weren't that far behind me--or should I say, us. We (I cut and pasted from the Brussels 20K website so that is why my name is "Nilli") finished at exactly the same time. The first number was our race number. Because it was my first time we were in the last group to start of the 25000 people registered. The first time was the 10K and the second was the final time--technically 21K. The last number is the ranking.

21264 TSE JOE 01:04:28 02:14:57 17232

21265 TSE NILLI 01:04:28 02:14:57 17233

It was "great fun" to quote our Irish friend who runs marathons regularly and often comments that anything less than 40 something kilometers is "great fun". It was hot--but not too hot-- and it didn't rain as was forecasted, but the course through Brussels was beautiful and the atmosphere was a blast. Something we'll definitely do again. The kids were with a babysitter all afternoon and then went to the much too late BBQ with us that evening. We were the only ones attending the BBQ where both parents ran the race and then attended the BBQ with their children afterwards. 2 extremely tired and hungry parents + 3 somewhat tired children + 1 very late dinner = 1 very unorthodox bedtime routine

We all seem to be back in the groove today, though Daddy is traveling so he is probably not going to feel quite right all week. He's got several trips in a row coming up and with all of the end of school activities and going away parties (boo hoo) our calendar is surprisingly full. Time keeps flying! This morning the kids were all playing in the garage before school. I had the urge to get the camera because they suddenly all looked so big to me. It is impossible to get a decent picture of all 3 of them at the same time (just ask the photographer we used this past Saturday*), but these are some I took before the wee one had a golf ball bounced onto her head. Instantly--No More Mrs. Nice Guy, hugs and apologies given and into the car for school.


*Some of the pictures we took after our photo session at the Abbey we first visted last year--it was almost exactly one year ago. Look at the difference in our babies!