Just when you thought it was safe

To pick your children up from school and take them to swimming lessons...

What was I just saying about the "only school I know"? It is all I know and most of the time I feel like I know what we can expect, we still have moments. Moments when I think, "Seriously?" Today we had of those moments.

I think I mentioned it was a beautiful day today. After school the kids wanted to play outside with their friends for just a few minutes before we had to leave for swimming lessons. I was running just a little later than I have been for pick up today since Sarah was actually taking a nap so I parked outside of the school grounds and in the neighborhood across the street. I have parked there many, many times. It is quite a hike for the kids so I do try to park closer when I can, but today it was so nice, I wasn't worried about it.

The kids were in a good mood. (Sunshine does great things for "mauvaise humeur"). Once we reached the car, I began searching through my bag for the key. It wasn't where I normally keep it so I had to look for a few minutes. I was kneeling down on the ground with the kids standing in front of me when Nathan looked up and very calmly said, "Mom, it looks like a chicken is behind you".

The phrasing he used made me think he was seeing a plant or rock or something that looked like a chicken. Wrong. There was an actual chicken (actually probably a rooster, but I'm not a farmyard animal scholar by any means) walking right up behind me. It startled me, but I managed to keep that to myself. Sarah, however, did not hide her feelings at all. She began screaming and crying immediately. I found the key and started loading everyone and all of our things into the car. The chicken/rooster was not fazed at all by Sarah's frantic screaming. He seemed only intrigued. At that point I wasn't terribly concerned about this little guy. He seemed harmless enough.

As I climbed into the car to help buckle seat belts, several of the doors were left open. Nathan said something to the effect of, "What if the chicken jumps in our car?" To which I replied, "Don't worry, he's not coming into the car".

Right. Of course, I turned around after buckling Hannah's seat belt to find the chicken/rooster walking very deliberately through our car. He was coming right at us!

The next part is somewhat of a blur. I saw him first and therefore I screamed first. Once the kids saw him it was all over. Crying, screaming. All of them. I think I jumped out of the back.
(Nice, the mom abandons ship with 2 of her 3 children strapped into their seat belts left to fend for themselves against this very aggressive chicken/rooster).
I managed to get him out, but he had to walk right past the 3 screaming/crying kids in the process. They were a mess. By this point I was laughing hysterically and crying from the hysterical laughter. Great job, Mom!
I tried to pull myself together and comfort my poor hysterical children. I managed to get them calmed down and closed all of the doors. Sarah's seat belt was buckled and I calmly walked up to the front of the car. Apparently I had prematurely closed all of the doors. Yes, he was in the driver's seat. This time I didn't scream, but they did notice that I was opening the door and pushing a chicken out of the car with a shopping bag. The hysteria started all over again.

Once I got him out again (for real this time), I closed the kids up in the car and stood next to the door waiting for him to move far enough away that I could be sure he wasn't getting in again. Hysteria continued inside the car. I tried to scare him away, but this guy clearly isn't easily scared. By this point, he had to realize he had the upper hand. I started to chase him away, but I didn't want to push him into the road due to an oncoming car. So for what seemed like forever, the two of us stood right next to my car staring at each other. Kids in the car screaming and wondering if mommy or the chicken would win the standoff. After the car passed, I chased him across the street. He left this time and I swear he was muttering to himself. It was the first time he made any sort of chicken noise at all and I just wish I knew what it meant.

I got back into the car still laughing hysterically. My children were not amused. Once they finally calmed down, Nathan informed me that he wished I was not laughing. I tried to tell him that it was funny and it would make a good story to tell at school tomorrow. No way. He has spent the entire evening avoiding the subject and if his sister or I brought it up, he was seriously upset about it. They were all afraid that the chicken/rooster was still in the car once we reached swimming and again once it was time to leave swimming. Even Sarah did not forget. (I'm sure it didn't help that I had to tell the story to a friend, but no adults except for me were witness and I wanted to talk about it!)
Our older children, living up to gender stereotypes, are handling this "trauma" in completely opposite ways. Our son does not want to discuss it or hear about it ever again and our daughter wants to talk about every detail to every person she sees. Hannah has even come up with several different scenarios as to what actually happened after "Mommy scared the rooster". She had me feeling guilty when she said that I might have scared him to death. Maybe I did, but he started it!